Stamford, Connecticut. In what can only be described as a miracle, WWE and NBC have announced that the XFL will be renewed for a second season this winter. Following the success of season one, many teams including league leaders Chelsea, Manchester United and Rangers have expressed interest in staying in the league. Good ratings coupled with strong interest have persuaded both parties to renew their working relationship. Somehow, someway... the XFL is a success at last.

Newcastle, England. Newcastle United were celebrating this week after not only wiping our their horrendous goal difference, but getting on the points board after their 6-2 victory over Celtic. Newcastle boss Sam Allardyce spoke to XFL.Com...

'They say every dog has his day. Well today I let my little terrier of the leash to go and sup from the big dog's bowl and he brought me back 4 goals. Of course, he was covered in mud and insisted on sniffing David's arse, but the important thing was the win' Sam Allardyce today told reporters outside St. James' Park. Various allegations have been flying around over a possibilty of steriod intake by Michael Owen, and he had this to say when questioned:

'RRRRrroooofff.....roof rooof rrrrrroof......rrrrooooooooffff roof'